


only thing that i can do is hold it in, hold it in

by genesis_frog



Series: a vine of ivy's pushing her way through (widobrave week 2020) [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Nott Has Issues (Critical Role), Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:53:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23177995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genesis_frog/pseuds/genesis_frog
Summary: Nott wants, and Nott needs.(widobrave week day 5: pining)
Relationships: Nott/Caleb Widogast
Series: a vine of ivy's pushing her way through (widobrave week 2020) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666243
Kudos: 22





	only thing that i can do is hold it in, hold it in

She had never wanted to admit it to herself, but she loved him.

He had looked so beautiful in the moonlight; the shadows his body cast were long, but the light brought out his jaw, and _oh_ , she was attracted to the homeless human man in jail with her. Great. It will pass, she told herself. She can keep this hidden. (He cannot hurt her for this, or leave her for this, if he does not know - if she does not feel.)

They stuck together and she tried to forget about it, about the way he looked in that moment, except - she learned about how much he loved his cat and books, how much he delighted to learn magic and to share his knowledge, and she saw so many new, beautiful sides of him. His smile, when genuine, filled her with infectious joy; his intelligence gave her hope, made her feel safe. _He could save me,_ she thought at night. _He doesn’t know from what, but he could_ save _me,_ and the prospect was almost too much to even consider.

As much as he made her feel safe, she saw how useless he was on his own -- couldn’t scavenge for forest food on his own, couldn’t pick locks or pick pockets, couldn’t stay standing when attacked. She wanted to protect him in return -- _this is what I can do for him._ She narrowed in on her role as caretaker, as guardian; _this is what I have to do for him,_ _this will help me forget._ She tried.

But slowly, ever so slowly, it grows, the way moonflower vines grow up a neighboring stem. It grows and grows and grows until --

**Author's Note:**

> (title from "hold it in" by jukebox the ghost)
> 
> this is probably the most explicitly romantic work i made for this week and also it's probably the weakest, lol. im aroace so i did my best


End file.
